Sex In Our Fifties and Beyond: 5 Tips For Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life

One of my favorite shows of all time was Sex In The City, and one of my favorite characters ever..Samantha Jones. Samantha was the older one in the group. The one with a hearty sexual appetite. A woman of a certain age, that we would later witness transitioning steadily into menopause, in the Sex In The City movie. Just like real women, Samantha had to navigate the challenges that aging brought to her sexuality. She incorporated some new self care routines into her life, and she got her grove back. Today  women in their fifties and beyond, desire to live their best sexual lives.

Like Samantha,  many woman are embracing their sexually. They’re starting to make their own satisfaction a priority. They’re giving it just as much attention as they would their partners. Women are verbalizing their wants and needs..actively taking a role in making there sexual lives more fulfilling. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning or promoting promiscuity by any means. What I am all for, is a healthy sex life within whatever relationship we’re in.

Personally I’ve been single for over ten years, and being a woman in her fifties, that hasn’t found the one..I’m feeling the heat literally, and figuratively. I mean my hormones have me totally lusty one minute, and the next minute I’m like, don’t even look at me dude..lol. It’s a rollercoaster of physical feelings, that definitely affect my mental state as well. I have to feel sexy in my mind, in order to feel and be sexual. Can I be a bit graphic for a minute? Thanks. The juices gotta be flowing mentally, before they can flow anywhere else.. I’m just saying. Before anything can go down, I gotta get my mind right. I know I’m not alone with this one ladies. But the good news is, there are lots of things we can do to help us in these areas.

So ladies, lets jump into these five best practices, that will help us maintain that healthy, active sex life that we desire. Just a few things we can do to help our drive, our mood and our physical well being..thus enhancing our sex life.

 1.Get Regular Exercise

Regular exercise helps to strengthen our muscles. Nothing will kill the mood faster than throwing your back out, or pulling a muscle while you’re in the heat of passion. Regular exercise also puts you in a better mood. Take a yoga class. Do some stretching everyday. Lets keep ourselves limber outside of the bedroom, it’ll help the creative juices flow inside the bedroom. And ladies, don’t forget the kegel exercises.

2.Selfcare

When we look better, we feel better..I know I do. Get that new hair do ladies, and keep your nails well groomed. I also like to keep what Beyonce calls, a freakum dress in the closet at all times. A nice sexy number for when the significant other takes you on a date, or even if you’re having a nice dinner at home. Personally I’m not a lingerie girl, but I know that the right pieces can have an amazing affect, not only on our partners mood, but on ours as well. Take nice long baths. Throw some petals in the tub, or take a milk bath..its great for the skin.

3. Limit the Quickies

Quickies have their place for sure, but let me say this again..limit the quickies. Ladies take your time. Foreplay can start at dinner. Sight, smell, taste  are all aphrodisiacs. Sometimes we might think that our desire has diminished, but what we really need to do is take it slower, get all our senses engaged. Put on some good music, maybe even dance a little. Set the stage for a great beginning, during and end.

4. Keep It Spicy 

Many of us have been married, or with the same partner for many moons. Although we’re older, some of us are in brand new relationships… either way we want to keep it exciting. We need to think outside the box, or the bedroom for that matter. Take that show on the road..as long as it doesn’t involve any indecent exposure..haha! I find that just changing the time of day from the norm, makes the act adventurous and enticing.

5. Check The Meds

The side effects of some medications can put a huge damper on our sex life. Antidepressants, antihistamines, blood pressure medicines, cholesterol -lowering drugs and ulcer medications are some of the common culprits. If you’re concerned, or have any reason to think that your meds are causing you any grief in the bedroom, talk to your doctor ASAP.

With all that being said ladies, lets go forth and live our best sexual lives. We are at a magical time in our existence. We’re experienced..we know what we want, and aren’t afraid to ask for it. We’re taking better care of our selves, looking better, and living longer. We are in control.  Lets boss up, and take no shorts when it comes to creating, and having the best sexual lives we can have, in our fifties and beyond.

Photos: Breatheinmoments

As always loves, until our next stylish encounter…stay inspired

xoxo