A few weeks ago someone asked me, how do I feel about falling in love after 50. For those of you who don’t know, as of this writing, I’m a single woman over fifty. I recently wrote a post about sex in our fifties and beyond, where I shared a few really great tips for maintaining our sexual health, as well as keeping it spicy in the bedroom. But, up until recently I only thought about dating, and whether and when to be intimate or not, during the process. I know I fancied having a partner again, as a companion. You know someone I could travel with, share meals with, and of course expenses with ( I’m just keeping it real, don’t judge).
But one day, about a month ago, I felt this overwhelming desire to be in love..real love. The kind that’s more than just a feeling, but a conscious choice. That love that not only makes you lust after someone, but makes you want to be loyal, and consider their feelings. The kind that makes you want to nurture their dreams with them. Whew! Thats a lot. It dawned on me that since I became single over ten years ago, although I desired companionship, in all its intricacies, I never really factored in being in love. Maybe it was some sort of subconscious defense mechanism to protect my heart. I’ve always had a strong since of self worth. But, I guess now I can admit, that there was damage done to my self esteem in past relationships. Damage that only years of loving on myself could repair.
I woke up one day and realized I was head over heels in love with myself. I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite this way before. It’s a since of intimacy, caring and respect that took years for me to cultivate. When I look in the mirror, I stare into my own eyes, and feel this warmth and commitment, thats hard to explain. I feel so whole and calm..like I’m enough all by myself. There’s nothing lacking in my spirit, only a sense of fullness. I named it my love epiphany.
All the scars from my pass have really healed. They don’t just have scabs over them, that can be knocked off or peeled away, to expose an open wound again. I have developed brand new skin..skin that was very tough in the beginning, but has softened over time. Is there someone special in my life, I won’t say. What I will say is, I’m ready for love now. So I’m hanging a sign over my heart that reads, open for business.
Photos: @Breatheinmoments
As always loves, until our next stylish encounter..stay inspired
xoxo
Awwww I absolutely LOVE this article Elaine! True self Love and self acceptance is such a necessity that positively affects our relationships, career goals and much more. Unfortunately self Love is also a huge scarcity as many are lost trying to meet other’s expectations as opposed to cultivating their own uniqueness and God given gifts. Love love this!
You have arrived at a place that for many its a struggle to get to. I can sense your peace and serenity as I read your eloquently written article. I’m rejoicing with you!!
Tahisha I’m so very appreciative of your support. Your words always encourage me to continue to share from my heart. The process of developing self love isn’t easy.
As I continue to build this muscle, I’m so grateful to have people like you in my community. I hope to meet up with you soon sister.
Xoxo
You look Fantastic and this post is so Inspirational. Loving yourself is the key to opening your heart for business. You did the damn thing!! I see more loving coming your way soon, so enjoy every minute. . .
http://www.madamtoomuch.com
Neti Neti!
Thank you hun! You always make me smile when I read your comments. I really appreciate the constant support. It’s a wonderful sign of how you champion women. It’s all love.
xoxo
Oh, my! I absolutely love this Elaine! Such a heartfelt post. I love the fact that you did take the time to nurture and heal yourself through self-love! It really is so important to feel that love for yourself before offering it up to the next person . Whoever does get to be your companion is going to be a very lucky individual. You are beautiful inside and out my friend!
Hi Tonya
Thanks so much for checking out my post..it really did come from my heart. I’ve been on a long journey, and I don’t think I ever will arrive..its constant work. I really appreciate your comments and feedback on my post. You are a awesome writer, so it’s very encouraging.
xoxo
My special Unicorn, it is so wonderful to hear a sister recap on her past but also cultivate self love and knowing that you are worth it, knowing being in love starts with you!! Awesome keep sharing!
Thank you so much for stopping by Big Uni! I really appreciate you. We sister must put that work in, to really own that self love. Its so important.
xoxo
Hey Elaine,
This is great. A lot of us go through life not knowing what real love is.We don’t experience it. Sometimes i wonder,do we know even how it should feel?what should we feel?
I am just happy that you are experiencing self love. I guess you are now open for business. The bible says,love your neighbor as you love yourself. Did you hear that. You must love yourself first before you love anyone.
Go get and give some !!!
Hi Anne!
You know sometimes I wonder if I have ever experienced true love..I dont think I really have, until recently. I do know that the Bible says love thy neighbor. It also stresses above all else..love. I choose to live my life in love now. Thanks so much for stopping by.
xoxo